Advice from a Psychologist: How to Learn to Say No

Subconscious fear of being alone and losing people's respect.

The search for confirmation of its importance, indispensability in the fulfillment of endless requests. Lack or blurring of personal boundaries. Fear of offending the one who asks with refusal.

Why you need to learn how to say no

The inability to say "no" is tied to the desire to gain approval from others.

The desire to please or win a good disposition of people comes, as a rule, from childhood. Sometimes parents unconsciously influence the development of this quality in their children.

How to politely refuse an example

For example, “I’m very sorry for you, but I can’t help you with anything”, “I understand you and want to help you, but it’s not in my competence to solve the issue.”

Or “I see that it’s not easy for you, but I can’t solve your problem.” This is a rather polite refusal and can be used in any setting - formal and informal.

How to say no gracefully

Summon eloquence: You don't have to use the word "no" in your refusal. You can say, for example, like this: "I'm afraid things do not allow me to do this."

Psychologists believe that the best refusal is Japanese refusal: “yes, and therefore ....”. You don't say "no" to a client or partner, you don't say "but".

How to refuse an offer

You can use the following wording: I have soberly assessed my capabilities and am forced to refuse your offer, since the proposed work schedule is inconvenient for me.

Or: Thank you very much for your offer, but unfortunately, this vacancy does not quite suit me, it is not what I am looking for at the moment.

• Related news:
• mental health
• self-esteem
• communication
• 10 September 2023

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