Lying is one of the most annoying things in any relationship. In this article, we will explain why people lie most often and how this can affect relationships.
Why Partners Lie
Lies are most often based on two feelings: fear and shame. Fear of losing relationships, lifestyle, status, respect. And the shame to show some side of yourself. The habit of lying can begin to form in childhood, when the child really wants something, but his parents do not allow him to.
There are two types of honesty in any relationship, according to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. The first is mandatory, when both partners impeccably follow the rule of being honest and not hiding anything from each other. The second is discretionary, when partners can slightly deceive each other in small things. For example, hide problems in the family.
How lies affect relationships
Lying blocks the possibility of being emotionally close, not only physically, it is vulnerability that creates depth between partners. The more a person plunges into a lie, the more difficult it is to get out and recognize the truth.
The cost of lying in intimate relationships is trust and the consequences of losing it; tension and secrecy, lack of spontaneity in some areas of life; the impossibility to share the joy of accepting oneself by another, as well as sharing one’s desires with him, the pleasures that lie in this shadow side of the “I”.
